I’ll be Somebody’s Light
She’s Got a Story: Anna
Anna’s candor and honesty about her addiction, struggles, and recovery journey moved me deeply. I don’t talk much anymore about my sobriety journey, but sitting with Anna reminded me what a gift the last 20 sober years have been. There’s pain and beauty in every woman’s story, but Anna’s held a special place for me.
I see this post circulate on social media from time to time:
It reminds me of Anna.
A car wreck interrupted Anna’s nursing school journey. Still, she can see now that her path (through surgery, opioid addiction, and recovery) led her to her true passion – peer recovery and working with individuals with disabilities.
“Maybe everything worked out the way it was supposed to. I’ve never felt more at peace than I do now. Even though it may not seem like I am at peace…I am. My soul is good.”
The last several years have rocked Anna’s life with loss and struggle, but she remains sober. Her twelve years of sobriety are fueled by her drive to be a better daughter for her parents (still trying to heal wounds inflicted from the depths of her addiction) and to be a better mother for her son.
“I think if I didn’t have him, I would probably still be where I was. He doesn’t believe it, and I don’t show it all the time. But it is him.”
While Anna has much wisdom, it was her words about recovery that moved me the most.
“That it’s worth it. It is so beneficial to get better. To see the world and not just go through it. Yeah, there are dark days, but I would rather have dark days than not feel anything. Would it have been beneficial to be high when my mom had her heart attack, maybe? But I wouldn’t have been able to get here to tell her I love her. Would it have been beneficial to be high when my grandfather died? Probably, but I wouldn’t have been able to tell him goodbye. So, I get not feeling things is great sometimes, but you have so much more joy when you’re not high. And getting clean, you can see both sides of it.
Reach out to people when you feel like you are going to stumble. You have to reach out. You can’t do it on your own. You have to make sure you have people around you that want that for you. I always want people to know that even if I don’t know you, you can always come to me. I’ll be somebody’s light. Nobody has to do it alone. I’m here, and my phone is always on.”
She’s right. It’s worth it. Every step, every struggle, every setback of the sobriety journey is worth the life that it builds. I’m so glad I met Anna and got to hear part of her story. I am thankful for the reminders she gave me about the journey I made, and for her willingness to reach out into the community and help others.
